funny how it seems

To all those that don't believe. To all those that refuse to think. And to all those that live life as it were: This post is for you.
I believe in karma. I believe in love at first sight... and second. I believe that to wish upon a star is to have hope and wonderment. To be less idealistic and more realistic. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Whether that be to test us and our strengths and patience. Or whether that be to keep us from hurt or pain. Or even hold us in place until something most amazing comes along to sweep you off your little feet! When I turn around I look back at my stupid choices and think, "What the heck?!?" What was I thinking? really... what it is: WHAT AM I DOING with my life? Most people try and succeed and then try for bigger and better things! I strive to be perfect but perfect I am not. Far from it in fact. I am so flawful. That is what makes me who I am. Take me or leave me. I can't change just because you want me to be something I am not.
I am emotional but loving
I am weak but strong willed
I am tender but tough when I need to be
I am motivated but lack the energy sometimes
I am silly and serious. Sometimes at the same time
I am a lover but I need love back
I am brunette. By default, thank you genetics.
I believe in happily ever after but I am also a realist and know that fairy tales are for children
I am content but strive for the best
I am smart but say stupid shit often
I am skilled but need to learn every day
I work hard but play hard too...
I love art, I am right brained. Sorry lefty
I believe music defines your mood but I use it to fuel my fires as well ):
I love to laugh and play but I need to do it more often
I am witty but need to know when to stop
I am a female and no one can change who I am
And for that, Dear serendipity: If you so do exist, please do me a favor and bring me a sign that I am going to be at the right place at the right time. Show me what I have been missing. Teach me to be patient but give me hope.
I always want to move forward in life. Complete tasks. Today, I want time to sit still and let me soak up the amazing energy I feel today. I am brave. I am amazing. I am tall... hold your head up woman. No one can bring you down unless you let them. And you are the keeper of your own soul. Everything happens for a reason. So why do I feel like this? If I know there are reasons I am where I am, then can't I just be content and happy? Stop making things happen. The Universe already knows and so does God. You cant change fate nor mess with desire. Be happy and grateful for your life. So many people love you. Today is the start of a beautiful life! One that needs me as me.
(:
Sweet serendipity.  Tallyhoo!

ps according to a few people we will be starting the challenge soon. Maybe next week.
xoxo, D

well blew that one didn't I?

So... I am going to start the photo challenge ... I am I swear it. But just as soon as I get my head on straight. Wanna know something craptastic? My fam bamly is going on all these trips and such and leaving me behind sadly because I have to work every other stinkin weekend. Now, you ask? Where is the fun in living a life if you can't live it? Or enjoy it? I recently spent 3 days or so working day shifts but I really don't remember a damn thing. Yeah Sad. I am sure I got pissed on and most likely ran my butt off and maybe awkwardly helped new moms breast feed. (boys you are all JEEEEALOUS of my job) but do I remember it? No. Do I even think I slept? No. I was a delirious nightmare wandering in the zombie darkness that was my bedroom. pretty sure if I were a coke crak meth head nutso or whatever... I would have been productive and cleaned my apt! So much for that. lol!

Caffeinated diet coke is as dangerous as I get and I think I am immune to its effects now. Ok ok. No funny ass story! Like last summer I had a similar story: Soooo tired before a night shift. I sold my Honda Civic, had worked the night before... no SLEEP!!! at all. I did a one time investment on a McD frap. BIG HUGE MISTAKE!!! Eeeeeek! 

"Hi I am Danielle I am your nurse tonight and I will be taking care of your twins tonight is this your wife?Hi Nice to meet you I am sorry I decided to try this frap from McD and its decided to take over my entire body but its pretty yummy so I just keep sipping on it and I am sure to wear down a little later but lets get started ok!!Why don't you start changing baby A and get her ready while I help mom set up to breast feed and then you can hold her while mom feeds baby B and then she can pump after and then you guys can stay as long as you like but I do hope you get some rest because tomorrow is going to be a big day with the babies eating more you know and such anyway lets get started!"

WTF! By midnight I was out cold on my lunch break in the break room. Baaaahahah! yeah no more of that lethal crap!

Ok on a new note... I did however discover a new hobby that I enjoy very much! Its actually fun and new and gives me a great healthy new perspective on life and my future if you will. I really love being a nurse. I love my photography(sadly I am so short on spare time) but honestly why wouldn't anyone want to avoid something fun and happy? Exactly. I am not sure if I am brave enough to keep trying at it. But the only way to get better and to love a hobby is to give it your all! I will keep you informed when I know more about it. (: haha don't you hate being in the dark?


Speaking about the dark: I really like evening. But not right now. its depressing sitting by myself.

Not speaking of the news: how cool is that trax line? I love that we are getting so commerce-able! But I still wanna move to Manhattan. My dream land. Ahhhhhh
Where all unnecessary noise is prohibited!

OMG so I need to make my photo list complete. Get your name to me! Join the challenge dangit

30 day photo challenge Ep. 2

Yes you heard right! We are going to do another photo challenge. (:
The rules:
Take and post one pic a day for 30 days.
Must follow day topic
Can edit or not (at your discretion)
iPhone/DROID/iPad/DSLR/Point-and-shoot can be used!
Be creative and use your imagination!
We will start Sunday June 24th!! Get your digital media tools ready. If you want a free site to edit pics go to:
http://www.picnik.com/
http://www.lunapic.com/editor/ and
picasa with google is limited but good too!
self portrait
Flowers
Defying gravity
Water
Sunset
Someone you love
Something yellow
Something purple
Long exposure
Shadow
Texture
Motion
Something sweet
Bokeh
Detailed
Food
Fruit
What's in my bag/backpack
Something old
Something blue
Something pink
Smile
Macro/close up
Silhouette
Glitter
From a high Angle
Low angle
Black and white
Self portrait

Add more. Let me know what we like. (:

lookie loo I am so coool!

Can you see my pics? I had the elf hats custom made. Did the cute photo shoot and now... the seller is selling more like them! Cute!!! Can you see it?!?! 

Ok so I am Über sleep deprived. After being sick and working nights, I am just too tired to wake up so early for a day shift. BUUUUUUTTTT... I love days dangit. I have too much homework. Almost done for the night but alas... I am going to bed now. sleepy girl gets too grumpy when she doesn't get sleep. OY! Do you know what I am learning about in skool?!
So recently DOMESTIC VIOLENCE and CARDIAC  stuff and GLOBAL health. Now if only any or all of this applied to my daily work. ok well lets a breaka it a down... 
DV: ok yeah I see how it could be important. OK baby... how did you get this bruise on your head? OH!! damn that birth canal! That MD and his forcepts! Oh man let me get you some pamphlets for that... just kidding I know its real life but really?!? hehe ok cardiac... yes. HEART beat= good... no heart beat= not super awesome. Easy enough. LAstly... The only globalness I need to know is *WARNING EXPLICIT LYRICS* How to speak Mexican. Which I am learning slowly. Oh and Illiterate white American. No I am not judging. Not at all. :P 


See I am so pissy when I am tired. Go to bed you silly girl. PS match.com is a VULTURES NEST!!! BEWARE!
 D

Yes ma'am I am

Ok fatty McGee here. I ate so much crap this weekend I think I gained ten pounds on my ass. Nonetheless it was delicious on my palate. I have a think for dunford chocolate doughnuts. Just naughty. But I am so too! I have skipped Le Gym for two weeks now. Ooops! School. Work. Sleep. And dating kinda trump my trainer with his training work I have to comply too. Oh by the way I'm delirious so pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. Meaning: don't listen to crap I say

So Saturday night. Big 10 year Hs reunion. I have to admit I had a much better time than anticipated. I almost scheduled a date for later that night thinking I was gonna bail out early!! Instead I ended up winning a bunch of the raffle stuff. Yuuussssss! Supah! It wasn't rigged ya jerks! After the party we had a little after party. So many people that had Nothing to do with eahother back in HS... All enjoying a good time. I was wearing a cute playful dress. Love it!

Oh holy moly and what's up?!? I am still putting offers on houses I love! But for some reason it doesn't pan out... Sign? Maybe. Maybe just craptastic luck! My good heavens I'm tired. Must sleep. I never know how I make it home after a night shift. I am probably in auto pilot assuming everyone else. Is on their best behavior. Ya know. Eating. Applying makeup. Shaving. Etc. lol they are all idiots. AND IM THE ONE IMPAIRED!!! Remember the Great Gatsby? When Jordan says to Nick:

“You said a bad driver was only safe until she met another bad driver? Well, I met another bad driver, didn't I? I mean it was careless of me to makes such a wrong guess. I thought you were rather an honest, straightforward person I thought it was your secret pride."

"I'm thirty," I said. "I'm five years too old to lie to myself and call it honor."

She didn't answer. Angry, and half in love with her, and tremendously sorry, I turned away.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

Got to love a good read!!
And a hot body goal like this one:

When all else fails...

Baaahaha! Ok so I always love a good some e card. :)) lol

D

Blargh my night sucked royally. For sure. There's something about a person that is over anxious and know-it-all that sets me over the edge. But this was extreme death com 5. I am not ok with battling crazies. Just ask the one boy w the psycho ex wife. Yup. Not doing it!!

On a good note, I did manage to have some fun earlier this week. In fact Tuesday was the new swim suit debut. Go figure there would be 5 cute guys at my pool during said event. Strutted past them and smiled coyly. Knowing the power of the booty is not resistant! But as my time studying at the pool became unbearably hot I took a dive in the deep end. Pushed my hair out of my face and climbed up the step up rail thingy with a slow motion 'rap star music video' feel. Yusss!! I win. And then they pulled out a box of ciggies and started smoking. Double time I Win. Yuck!

I've given up on love. My coworkers think i suck at choosing who I date so I'm sure they can do better! Lol it's just sad when you know you're set up for failure by circumstance. Ps I feel like garbage rubbles today. Ugh. Someone just bury my sorry ass alive. ;-/

Ok enough psycho babble. I'm super tired and keep getting woken up and I can't deal with nightmare night #2 on no sleep. Good friggin night. Ps don't set me up with anyone just because we're both 'single' ya?! Thx lol

Yussssssss!

"For every setback, disappointment and heartbreak, Danielle, ask yourself, "What does this create the opportunity for?"

And therein you will find its gift.

Everything has a reason,
The Universe"

Exactly!!!

So much to do on so little borrowed time today. Wow and I even get to go to a wicked rad concert tonight with my sweet ster. What a treat! Meeting. Oil change. Homework. House hunting... Yussss the hunt is back on! I am giving up on all y'all and just gonna plunge forward yet again! (: do what you want because you gotta. I have had the worst migraine today. Since 6 am. Whaaaaaah! But "I'm feeling betta now" gonna curl my hair. What little but is left on my head!!! I swear I lose a million strands a day. It's sad!!

10 year reunion in 5 days. Eeeek! Seeing a bunch of people I rarely remember and having to talk about the past 10 years... Sheesh! I know. I know I have a lot to show for the past 10 stinkin years. But still missing a huge chunk of my plan. Yes! You're right. A million dollars! Jk don't be silly. If I had the time... I'd do more with my life! Travel so much. To so many cool places. Take up more hobbies like yoga or biking. Maybe even become proficient in guitar and singing and make a YouTube video of me in my element singing a song I heard on my slacker radio.

Angus & Julia Stone - All of me

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Something that makes me happy

Sunrise on my way to work on Wednesday.

And sunset on my way home from work. Utah valley isn't all that bad. :)

hello... goodbye.

SO the other day, I started thinking about the craptastic mistakes and bad choices I had made in the past etc. This girl needs to say GOODBYE to all that shiz and HELLO to all the new and wonderful opportunities that await her! Today, I worked till I couldn't work NO MO. I got home and ate my favorite food! And spent the night doing things that make me happy. And what do you know?!? Happy things come my way. Hello to opportunity. Goodbye to old thinking habits. Life is only worth living if you live it well. And Well, I shall. And love myself. By not trying too hard, I am allowing good things to come at me. (:

Come over

What a sweet song. "I surrender" he says. Its not worth it.
I love the model.. So beautiful. I have always wanted to be the muse in a music video. The one that the hopeless guitar singer sings about. The one in slow motion. Looking away from the camera with innocent eyes. (I want to be the muse in real life tooo) It reminded me of most recent events of my life. Its hard to say goodbye to someone and know they are gone. I thought about him today. He messaged me and it made me break down. 5 months its been and I am weak today. I can't sleep tonight. Even though work is in a few hours. Its funny how someone can affect your life in so many ways. Its ridiculous how we as humans have such a passion and drive for love and romance. The actual very thought of being alone in society... what will all the people think of me? We sit and ponder what life would be like if they just "come over" and forget the past. But as I believe everything happens for a reason I know in my heart that we all are destined to be happy. Safe. Warm. At peace. And in love. But it doesn't start with someone. It starts with you. As angry as you are with the world and its people doing you wrong, the challenge is how you overcome it. The battle is how you deal with loss or change. Who is there for you and who isn't a real true friend.

After you find peace... then love... the other person from before wont be singing come over..They will sing, "Today" -Gary Allan



Be strong my little muse. Its not your time. Its not your fight. Its not a happy accident.
Its you. All for/about you.

goodnight dreamer, D

Day shift day 1

Lunch break time. Yep. You read correctly. I'm alive and well on a day shift at work. Oh how I've missed civilization! And what a treat to take care of these two sweet angels. It's funny how such a little squirt can be so feisty! Keeps me on my toes! And I had forgot what the fro yo was like here! Oh my gosh!!! Yum! I actually feel more important on a day shift than I do on nights. Not sure if it's the Rounding or just the day time status. As I got up this morning after 2 hours sleep I felt alive. Like I was waking up with purpose. Today was going to be a good day. I even drove to work. Singing the entire drive. Waltz to the door. Oh was I greeted by the day staff or what?!?!? Happy me! I feel a certain kind of respect. Like I know my shit and I am not afraid to do my job. Which is usually the case.

Tonight I a headed to see granny. (what we called my grandpa) I can't wait to tell him about my school and my crazy work sched. And dating life. Or lack thereof. Lol. I'm just a silly girl living in a material world. That recently came to the realization that I can't save the world. Nor change it. Or people! I can just be a good example and hope for the best.

Break over. More baby love to go! Enjoy your day!

would you like butter on that?

Life is all about the little things that make it worth living. The added touches are just a bonus. I am so very blessed to have be alive. I may gripe about crap. Or complain and such. But there are some things in life worth enjoying! Today was warm and beautiful. I can feel that good things are going to happen to me. I keep wondering when my life will be complete but the truth is... it won't ever be complete. I will always strive to be the very best. And provide for my family someday. AS I think about the things I don't have in life I need to think about the things I do have. There are so many awesome people in my life. I am going to keep the ones worth keeping. Fight for what I want. Need. Desire. Deserve. Gloves on I said. Life is much better with added bonuses like butter on popcorn. The occasional splurge. Flirting with disaster and getting away! More cream in your coffee. The good life.

Has anyone been to the new apple store yet? I want this!!!
http://store.apple.com/us/buy/home/shop_ipad/family/ipad/new_ipad
Its just what I need for school and my photography. Eeeek!
Also theres an H & M too! I have been a few times. TOOOOO crowded. But there are some cute things. I want to get some clothes for summer. I have also filled out my app for a passport. I want to get outta this place and go somewhere exotic. :) I have been working on my bikini bod for so long now!!! I am ready for fun in the sun. I think it would be amazing to travel toCabo or Fiji or Hawaii!  Italy or Spain! What an amazing adventure that would be! I would need to bring a backup camera in case mine craps out from taking so many pics!!!

Tomorrow, 6/4 is the one year anniversary of my sweet grandpas departure. I am thinking of all my family and friends and close neighbors he touched! I miss him dearly but I know he is looking down from the blue. Watching over me. Holding me when I am sad or lonely. Picking out the right love of my life and leading him to me. The one that will make me as happy as my dad's mom did to my grandpa. Grow with, play with, love, kiss goodnight, hold, comfort, travel with, confide in, trust and stay in love with! I totally believe in fate. I know that my purpose on earth is more than this. I look up to my grandpa still. He taught me so many things and helped me learn lessons. He showed me a love that no one ever could replace and someday I want to be that in return to my grandkids. In 40 years! I love my family, friends, babies, and yes. I love you.

Last note. I am going to wiki the meaning of love:

"Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection —"the unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another". Love may also be described as actions towards others or oneself based on compassion, or as actions towards others based on affection.^"

 

Lex Land - Easy

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Happy in love xoxo, D