Dear friends and family

Please to introduce to you my boyfriend 

That is all. Happy day to you!!

Here's to me. Mrs. Robinson.

Yes. You heard it. From 21-28. That's who is asking this 29 year old cougar out. I decided I kinda like the pups. They bring out the youthful side if this old lady. It's funny. I don't remember getting this old this fast but it is super flattering to me to know that these little boys like me. I know I don't look 29. I hear age is just a number. But still. I'm not getting any younger. I'm getting older and fatter. Pretty soon I will self combust from my fatness. So I need to work on my mrs. Robinson physique. Speaking if my physique... I decided to train for a bike race. Yes. The Little Red RidingHood. Should be fun. It's next spring. That gives me enough time to talk myself into it!! Lol I am kinda excited to do the race. Not pay the $750 entrance fee though. I know where that money can go. Shoes. Jeans. Puma. Lol maybe I can save the money I would spend stuffing my fat face and put it towards the race. Today is the first day I deny cookies and candy and sofa. For good. I'm tired of looking like a blimpo fat lady. It's like the cellulite has resided in my thighs and I can't pull up my jeans anymore. Like the Levi commercial in the 90s. The chick was fighting her jeans. They won. She fell on the floor trying to get them up over her butt. Lol!!! Here's to me. Ms. Robinson. -the ms part cuz I'm not married. (: look at you smarty for coming to that conclusion already. 

Xoxo, d

My blood. Ellie Goulding

"God knows I'm not dying but I'll breathe now. And god knows it's the only way to heal now. With all the blood I lost for you. It drowns the love I thought I knew. " 

I thought about this song for a while now. It really has the beat of a heart to it. I feel like some days all it takes for me not to fall to the ground is knowing that I will be ok in the end. Doesn't take away my hurt and sadness or the fact that I just still don't understand why. As I ponder I admit I miss my Brandon more than anyone. It wasn't fair to me for this to go down the way it has. But god knows I'm trying. He knows that time and my beating heart is the only way to heal now. Moving on. Accepting change. Letting go of things you can't control. Part of this life's challenges. I won't live eternity in the dark. No. I will light it up with every ounce of my being. 

Treasure

This is the reason I live. 

Bruno Mars-Treasure (DVDJ XTC Remix) from DVDJ XTC on Vimeo.

Dating is for wussies

How to be the shiz by LL AND DC

"Go HARD at the gym. Take out my crap on the treadmill and Notdstroms. Take a break from dating for a while". Then when feeling awesome go at dating like I don't give a eff. Ok noted. Day 1. Begin go!

http://www.livestrong.com/article/462029-how-to-push-yourself-at-the-gym/

Universe today

Wow!!

There's always a deeper reason, Danielle, for the emotions you feel, the doubts you have, the questions you raise, and the fears you entertain.  It's called "wanting it all."  What a system, huh?      The Universe Wow!!! Yes. I do want it all!!

Dear apple. Please note:

2 years gone.

It's been two years since I started this blog. We've grown together you and I. I remember the reason I was inspired to write. Many reasons really but one in particular. My sweet grandpa "granny" as my brother and my dad and I called him. What an inspiration to the world that man was. Oh wow. I remember getting ready to write the eulogy/talk. I was so sad. But I managed to make it uplifting for grandpa. It's what he would have wanted anyway. June 4 2011 was the day he let go. I still don't understand why god needed him back already. He was my best friend. I knew that my mind was a mess and I needed to he to a happy place. I opened luv the good life as a portal of my thoughts, air for my tantrums, and a place to express gratitude and hardships. I remember saying goodbye. I took it the hardest out if all my sibs/cousins due to the mere fact I invested so much love and time into our relationship. He taught me to care and help others. He was always proud of me and treated me like I was the most important person. I don't know how he live alone all these years. 

Grandpa. It's lonely down here. I visit you often. People tell me stories about you!!! All the time. You are a person we will never forget. I still feel you are here. And I am just dreaming. Or waiting a loooooonnnnng time to see you. I visit your grave site and talk for a while. I know you can hear me cuz I feel your presence. I stopped bowling. It's just not the same. I don't have uofu season ticket nor a student game pass. So games will be celebrated at home. We had Memorial Day in your honor last week. It was funny. We ate a chocolate bar at your site as a family. Then Monday I brought the fixings for a strawberry shortcake. Uhm but the whipped cream don't get mad... It wasn't home made. Hahaha I know. I just didn't have time. Or patience. I'm lucky sometimes if I even make it out of the house let alone my bed or pjs for the day. I'm so exhausted all the time. I miss you. I hope you are having fun teaching my future kids about grammar and street signs and sense if direction because lord knows I've forgotten most and if it weren't for my iPhone autocorrect I'd be a goner. 

So my sweet granny. I miss you more than ever. I hope to find love so true one day as the love you shared with us. I only wished my grandma had lived to see her amazing son, my dad, teach us and grow with us. To you I thank god for sharing him long enough to know what charity, love and true genuine nature is. I love you both. But sadly I know it is the way life works. Thank you for beaming your light in all those that knew you. I miss you. 

Xoxo 

D

"When My grandpa first asked me to speak at his funeral three years ago, he was sick in the hospital for months, I replied, Grandpa you are not dying. But ok. He then got better and joined us on a family trip to Bryce. I loved family roadtrips with grandpa. Especially Yellowstone. I remember he would wake up early in the morning, pull out his little cooler and offer anyone yogurt and an orange. Grandpa, we are going to breakfast, why are you eating? He always ate weird snacky foods, never cared for garlic or vinegar. Prefered lemon and salt on his salad, and salt on everything else!

 

 I guess I can ramble off memories and such. Or times when grandpa corrected my grammar even up to the last day he was alive. I asked him if he wanted to lay on his side, he replied, "lie". haha Really grandpa? Also that day he corrected my misinformed brain that Portland is not the capitol of Oregon. He kept whispering "sam." I was like huh??? Grandpa Jeopardy is hard. How did you ever watch it for these many years??? I corrected him and said, "not Sam! Silly" He was saying 'SALEM" oh my. haha! Well I remember back when I was a little girl, maybe seven, and he would drive us around to lessons or my dads work or to the grocery store. Always making sure I knew street signs. He once or maybe even twice made me jump out of the car to push the crosswalk button to trigger the light. AHHHH! And always drove slow towards a red light saying he timed it exactly each time he drove that street... or flipped a U turn, mostly illegal ones... to get to where he was headed. Whoever was in charge of distributing drivers licenses to that man must have been crazy! But needless to say he was always there for us. Always willing to be anywhere at any time. Called to check in just because. Its weird to think of him not calling anymore. Anytime I missed his call, I knew there would be a three minute voicemail to follow, stating his chores and what he ate that day and when he was going up to the VA for labs again. "Hi Danielle, its Grandpa."

 

I miss him very much. We had season tickets to the University of Utah football. We were on a bowling league. He even bought me my pink ball. And its sparkly. :) I checked on him all the time. Even when he wasn't home or he was taking a nap, I would leave him silly notes on his messy counter. I would always remove whatever paper or cloth products he had lying on the stove, even though he's say it wasn't on. haha oh silly grandpa. What a delightful man to know. Always said his purpose in life was to be useful. And useful he was. Never complained and never gave up. He is an example to us all in so many ways."

Funny thing is I couldn't print this on the day of the funeral. I emailed it to my android phone. Then I thought it was clever and it also would have taken two hours to teach grandpa how to do that!! Haha