Tonight is like every other night

I am sitting here. All messed up with my sleeping schedule. Pondering. Thinking like a toddler, animalisticly about something. So one of the last things I learned in my child development class before the end (and I returned my $119 book for $40 bucks! booo) was that children often think of non human things as living. Such as their toy car outside, for instance. It's cold. It might freeze. Or how a dolly might want to eat too. Well, I think often that my grandpa is lonely outside. Cold. sad. I miss him like all the time. Everyday. He would be so proud of me if he saw me. Finishing up two more degrees in 2012. Buyin a house this spring. Actually opening up to the potentiality of a family life with the whole marriage/kids/picket fence thing. Ya know... I have been independent for quite some time now and I'm realizing lately that life is missing something. I have also been advancing my photography! Ya know. He was the one who (with my mom) to buy my FIRST canon Rebel XTi and really jump started my passion. He believed in me with the Violin. So much as to pay for my private lessons for twelve years. And attended all my concerts. Even cheered me on through nursing school. And my big D. And now here I am sitting here in my warm apt with my cat on my lap keeping me company while my grandpa is cold. Of course he would never complain of the darkness or cold. He was stoic that way. My grandpa would have loved to eat the lunch I made, his favorite: tuna casserole. But I put garlic in it. He would have NOT liked that. :)

Lately, I have been strung out and stressed. But today I just worked on my dad's Christmas present like all day. I actually didn't sleep at all last night. So maybe that is why I am babbling. I get that way when I am tired. But tonight is really like every other night. I usually get a lull and then a spark/second wind and then can't settle down. That's where Facebook and Pinterest come to play. I find a lot of useful stuff on that there Pinning website. Tonight is a journal entry. Not every post has to be a happy super wonderful bubbliocious post or pic post. But I am actually tired. Must stay awake. Night shift schedule now. That plan failed last night. 5 am... go to BED. 630am AWAKE! 930 am AWAKE for the whole day and what's funny, I didn't even nap. You are lucky I am nice tonight. Poor Brandon is so patient with me too. I don't know why. Men are weird that way. HOT or COLD: They either tolerate you and worship you/love you/provide for you or they don't tolerate you and are more on the self centered side... I am lucky, I am worshiped. Grandpa already approved. :) So he is lucky. What is the whole meaning of this post? I am merely saying how I feel tonight. And then I am going to continue on to my crafting. And maybe go to bed. Everyone else in the world is already asleep but me. This sucks.