White rabbit. White rabbit.

Okay I surrender. I feel like I'm camping around the campfire. There's so much smoke from the wind blowing my way. I can't breathe I'm suffocating. I don't know what to do. I can think is "white rabbit". Please smoke blow the other way. Stop tormenting me. Stop making it hard for me to breathe. I need some clarity. And I really hate smelling like smoke. Metaphorically speaking. No one wants to be around someone that stinks like a campfire. It's nauseating. My attitude totally stinks. The events of my life are causing me chaos. I feel like I cannot breathe. I want to. I want to see clear. Why don't I deserve it!?? Why  am I damaged with so much smoke? To the rain: Please put out the fire. Remove the smoke. Help me breathe. Make me stop crying. Please let me sleep. I don't want to deal anymore. The meds make me crazy. But I'm crazy when I'm not on them. White Rabbit... I surrender.