Addicted to you.

Tonight I can't sleep I found myself perusing Facebook like most of us fools who can't sleep at night do. And there it was. Someone somewhere who is a mutual friend of me and my ex love you know the one posted a picture of the boys night out. Stopped me dead in my tracks and literally took my breath away. Why do I miss him? Why do I even care? Why do I still love him or maybe is it just the thought of him? Am I ever going to Move on? Will I ever go a day where he doesn't cross my mind or I pass his work all the time on my way to my work? Does he even think about me!? How's it possible for someone to hurt you so bad yet you still Cry for them? No one compares to him nor do they look, act, smell, taste, or feel like him. He has no idea he Crosses my mind. Why couldn't you have just been mine!? Why did you have to share yourself so much? And now me.. with so many questions. Why? I feel like there's so much unfinished business. *sigh* moving on. Well at least today I will try. Makes it very hard to fall in love when your heart still belongs to someone else. Oh the Walls. 

On a lighter note I had this thought the other day: " Sugary foods are like a bad ex-boyfriend you just can't help going back to it every time you quit it. " it's funny because even though I definitely don't know what to do in dating and in love but I still try and I can't help it. Curse the hopeless romantic bone in my body. Even as of this weekend I still let guys talk to me a certain way because I feel that deep down they don't mean it and that they are just as deserving of love as any other guy. Every time I left baffled as to why I let them get away with it and then I start to question myself worth. Here in Utah, the ratio of single lds ish women is 3 to 2 men. So there are no choices to be made. Men can and will just "date around" until they find their dream wife. As an old female in this state... I am now aging past that "hook-up culture" and no longer seem like a good prospect worth investing. The only advantage I seem to offer is for physical touch. No matter that I have a good job, an education, a home, a car, lots of skills and hobbies, and even sarcasm. Which I know, can go a long way in a relationship. So today, I will enjoy my own sarcasm. 

But in the meantime please enjoy this dancing unicorn

via GIPHY