Wacky word wed

"Aparigraha is the Sanksrit word for greedlessness or non-grasping. It comes from the word parigraha, which means reaching out for something and claiming it for oneself; by adding the 'A' it becomes the antonym. Aparigraha, unlike Asteya, means taking what is truly necessary and no more."

Well today. I am very grateful for the many blessing and chances I get in life. It's taking me a few days to finish this thought but I guess it's better that I put my all in it. I have tried not to be greedy or selfish. My whole life I have shared and loved and been there for others. I am tiring of being the last one. It seems that everything in life that is worth what I deserve is going to take a million bazillions ounces of hard work and patience. Nursing school for instance, was hard. It was a struggle to even get into a program. Let alone complete the degree whilst suffering a divorce and a job change. Being a grown up is hard. Mostly because it's about my own life choices. I am healthy and therefore should be grateful. But dang it if I'm not tired of playing the time game. Take your sweet time girl. Just sit on decisions. I have waited too long to quit now. So here I am. All I want now is a family. Someone to love and grow and teach and play with. I get tired of being solo. Single life isn't bad though. Let me tell you. But I've been ready for quite sometime for the next step in life. Honestly I think that the longer I wait the further that goal gets from my grasps. So I am not going to be selfish and grab something. Anything. I have to be picky. I deserve too much to settle ever again. But it's usually not my call what happens. Fate. Destiny. God. What is my purpose if not to grasp my dreams and hold on to them so tight?!? I have lived comfortably. I have worked my ass off on my degree and my job. Sometimes I get treated like shit. But guess what?!? That's life. Welcome to being an adult. People aren't fair. But you know what?! I can be good to those that aren't good to me. Because everyone deserves love. 

Dating woes. Why does it seem that I go on tons of Dates but not one guy seems to get me. Or they want me but I don't want them. Or vice versa. Being a catch isn't easy. It's hard damnit. Anyway today's post is lame. Haaha I definitely need a vacation. From work. From school. From dating. Most of all dating. I hate HATE HATE dating. Guys are just the pits. Just horny players with an agenda. Don't they know that inner peace isn't found on their penises? Or the gym? Gahhhh I hate dating.