Blown away

There's not enough snow in utah to drive the pain out of this mind. I am torn between my soul and my mind. My mind and my heart. My heart and my dreams. My dreams and reality. What is real and what is not. And in the end. These all compose what is left of me. A broken down horse left for dead. It's use has expired. It's purpose now forgotten. It's beauty faded. It's love jaded. And it's life flying by. What's is life's purpose if not to get married, have a family and a picket fence?! How do people get to have sweet little girls and treat them like they are garbage? I love this music video so much. I love the song even more. I don't know why anyone would take their Devine right for granted. Do drugs and drink alcohol while pregnant. Beat their living children. Neglect or starve them. Use them for selfish purposes. Destroy their emotions and soul. This Christmas was the first one I spent alone. I mean without a significant other of some sort. I thought about it actually. I am tired of being alone. Giving purpose to everyone else. I want to be selfish. I am so sick of dating. I gave it up and I'm still miserable. Lol so now what?! Well I saw today on the news that Russia is cutting back on their adoptions. How sad. I think someday I want to adopt a little girl. I know I'd be a great mom. And I think of all the love in the world to give I could do it! To keep. To love! To teach. To grow with. To laugh with. To play and sing with. To cry with. And maybe heaven will save a spot for me even without a husband. Because honestly I don't think a husband is in this life's plan. And I am ok with that. I am going to be thinking
Very hard about this years plans. Anyone have any tips or any help that would be more than amazing!


(Don't worry little girl! God makes disasters and dreams. All for a reason!)
I love this song!!! And I luv the good life!