yeah, i know

I've been the estranged bloggy wife lately. I have started (and quit) a new job and become sick as well. Although I enjoy writing for your pure unadulterated pleasure, I could give a rats about blogging lately. A few things other than listed above have kept me entirely pre-occupied. Homework...which has proven to be a big beast of a program and I can't wait to be done with school forever!!!!! Second, photography. If you don't follow my fbook page, you should. I try hard to take a great pic and then pretty it up even more. Have a few more sessions to finish and then a couple to take this month and a few for november!!!
AND dating... oh the joys of false hope and useless expectations. Yes you heard me. USELESS. I don't even know why I try. Its not like I am getting anywhere here. so apparently I am bitter and have craptastically false expectations. REALLY?!?!?! So here it is. Then, I will just do everything myself. I don't need men. I don't need love. Who the hell does? All we really need in life is pretty eye candy and a good toy or two. Well, I am not that kinda girl but you get my point! And on that same note. You can't trust anyone, really. Even family... closest friends, coworkers... nada, nuin, nunca, nein, whatever no is in all other languages I don't speak. I don't know why I spend so much time explaining myself to those who are bound and determined to misunderstand me. I try toooo hard to be better than I can be. Because  I know I can do more than I need, bite off more than I can chew, and please others before myself.
But then what happens to my insides? They jumble up... I push people away. Good, amazing and sexy-hot people away. I am very good at that actually. I am so used to crap ending bad or not turning out the way I want or wish it to... that I assume it all is like that. That all guys lie, won't make time or can't make extra time for his girl, will secretly date a bunch of other women to weed out the bad seeds, players- I call them. Want to see you when its convenient or not at all... unless you ask. Make up stories about their whereabouts, even when an explanation isn't elicited. Or better yet, talk the entire date about their ex gfs or wives until the only thing you leave the date from is facts about the girl who dumped his sorry butt... Or this one: Think that they should, or could even date when they are more than full time in school...w no job. And conveniently call or randomly txt when they feel like it. I dunno about you but I don't date to get through high school. Last I checked... this is real life and we are late 20 or early 30 somethings.
Here's my ploy, if you want to date Danielle... pull your head out of your ass and be somebody. Someone that she count on, depend on, be proud of, love and cherish, be exited about and excite her, treat her to surprises, spend QUALITY-not quantity time and make it worthwhile, kiss her, sneak a peck in public, better yet...hold her hand. Make her blush. Txt her in the middle of the day about how you are thinking of her or how you can't wait for your date together. Play with her hair while she lays on your lap during a movie at home. Tell her you missed her when you see her. Let her dress you on occasion... or undress. haha jk. Ask whats wrong when you know something is wrong. And then know its ok to be honest with her. Let her do nice things for and to you. Thats who she is. If you love her.. you had better tell her before someone else does. And when the moment is just right, you know it won't be any more perfect... show her.
Hows that for a big slap-in-the-face-hint???!!!???

SO to leave you with this eye candy from vampire diaries:

Song of the day: katy perry- wide awake

xoxo, me  always