Being a brunette in a blondes world...

“[Today], every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.” - Tina Fey

How's that for reality smacking you in the sucker? Now I am a goon for quoting so here you go, I am watchin a movie as I sit here workin on homework and dreamin of this hot man I am currently dating but secretly... NO ONE KNOWS WHO HE IS!!! (: suckers.
"Well, what am I supposed to do? Things have changed. No one meets each other organically anymore. You know if I would like to make myself seem more attractive to the opposite sex, I don't go and get a new haircut... I update my profile. That's just the way it is, you know?" -Mary (he's just not that into you)
So the boy you ask... he looks like a (dark) bradley cooper. dark hair, dark eyes instead of blonde and blue. Of course this pic is unedited but he needs no prettying up. Just a doll inside and out. But to be honest, I have not the slightest clue how he feels about me really. "If a guy wants to see you, he will see you."-Alex (he's just not that into you) So far, my biggest downfall is letting a guy know my weakness and insecurities. I am female. I am love. I am so innocent when it comes to love and lust. And yes I cut myself out of this picture. lol Why can't I just be happy? This girl that he knows messages him all the time. Its funny that he tells me. He also swore it was the same girl that set us up. But honestly, I don't care anymore. I have decided that I am going to live my life as I want and by myself. If I want a family, (well I do want a family) I can do it on my own. There are plenty of options for me out there. And plenty of babies that need homes and loving mommies. Who I know will be well loved and deserving of me. I have enough love to give the world. I am love. I am a nurse and I love what I do. On that same note. I decided to go back to nicu. I couldn't take being away from my babies. That is truly where I need to be.
But omg isn't bradley cooper just a stud?!? yay!!!

So this is my happy blog and I know sometimes I am negative... I am sorry. But I also swore that this was my journal that I was going to be honest and open and sassy.
I am serious though... I am worth the work. And the wait. I promise.



I love the boudoir session I did this past summer with the amazing photographer Amy Cloud from Aime Boudoir Photography. What an amazing way to make a woman feel like a million bucks and what a great gift to give a lover/husband/hunny pie for keepsakes. Of course this is an appropriate pic but they can be intimate as well. Oh to be a siren call. Anyway. Love the serenity and sassiness of this pose.
I just love feeling pretty. Being me is hard. I am so hard on myself. I twist up what I see in the mirror into something else. I let other women intimidate me into thinking I am not worthy of such love and affection. But it is better to be careful now than find out later I forced a man to get married, change who I am and become serious and not fun, then lead him away to some other women where he can get jiggy and leave me emotionally and mentally. I am not about to let my secret man slip outta my fingers but I can't let myself lose my mind or any sleep over it. Funny how I always have so many guys at my finger tips yet none of them seem to get down to my core. All I really want is someone who wants me and will love and commit to me. I have a plan and I know where I am going in life. I want someone to share it with me but if it doesn't happen then I know I am still bad ass awesome. I know there are a lot of girls out there like me. Single, ready for life but patience enough not to settle. Love life, my friends.
xoxo, D